DO YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO?
What is Sexual violence?
Sexual assault is any unwanted and forced sexual behavior that happens without a person’s consent. It can include touching, kissing, and vaginal, oral, or anal penetration.
Sexual assault can happen between two people who are in a romantic relationship. It can also happen between friends, family members, acquaintances, or strangers. Sometimes more than one person at a time commits sexual assault.
Sexual violence can happen to anyone. In most cases, it is experienced by women and is perpetrated by men. Survivors of sexual violence may feel uncomfortable immediately sharing their traumatic experience. There can be signs, however, that a person may have been sexually assaulted or raped.
CONSENT: what is it?
Consent is when one person asks another to engage in sexual activity, and the other person responds with a voluntary, conscious and active ‘yes’.
You cannot give Consent if;
- are threatened or verbally or physically forced – for example, ‘You can’t lead me on all night and not give me oral – that isn’t fair’, ‘I know you want to …’ or ‘If you don’t have sex with me, I’ll post that nude to Instagram’
- are under the influence of alcohol or other drugs
- don’t understand the consequences of sexual contact, or don’t fully understand what you’re being asked to do
- are under the legal age for sexual consent
- are unconscious, semiconscious or irrational.
If your teenage child tells you about a sexual assault?
If your teenage child has been sexually assaulted, they’ll probably be very distressed. Your child might be teary, clingy, angry, or in denial. Or your child might not show any outward signs of distress at all.
- Listen without judgement.
- Be clear this is not her fault. Nothing justifies abusive behavior.
- Be patient. Give her time to talk, but don’t push her to give details or take action unless she’s ready. Allow her to make her own decisions.
- Contact your local helpline or hotline for expert support, find out more below.
Being clear about sexual contact or activity
Teenagers sometimes consent to sexual contact or sexual activity that they regret afterward.
This can happen when the sexual contact or activity doesn’t go the way they hoped or expected, when the other person behaves badly afterward, when they misunderstand each other’s feelings, and so on. Sometimes this can lead to allegations of sexual assault, even when the teenagers might have consented to the sexual contact or activity at some point.
It’s important to be clear about what happened. It’s OK to calmly ask teenagers about the sequence of events and whether they might have consented to some things but not others.
Do you worry that someone you know is vulnerable or suffering?
In Kenya, call
Wounded Healers- 0792281316
Healthcare Assistance Kenya – 1195
Child helpline- 116
Sexual Assault Response Services – 1.800.871.7741
National Rape, Abuse and Incest National Hotline
WANT TO JOIN A SUPPORT GROUP?
We provide a safe space for survivors of sexual violence to come together and find support and encouragement among people who have had similar experiences. This group is open to any survivor, no matter how long ago it happened. Each session, we do a mixture of things; activities, light discussion, or a speaker sharing information on relevant topics. In addition, we will have a private facility for those who might find it difficult to share and of course refreshments. If you are interested in coming to this group, or have questions, email Nuna at firstname.lastname@example.org, and I will put your name on the list to be contacted.
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