The trauma goes a long way, depending on how the case was handled .To some up a few effects of sexual violence survivors ;
Survivor 1 (Name and address withheld to protect them)
The incident happened at age 6 and was committed by a relative, I was never taken to hospital and my mum handled it by telling the relative to relocate and having me taking a shower and promise not to ever talk about it. Am 18 now and I hate being home because I fear it can happen again.
Survivor 2(Name withheld to protect them)
The mum shares how she separate with the father of her first child an 8 year old girl whom the father decided to stay with her, but the uncle to the girl molested her. And now the child leaves in shock and that faints very frequently.
The following survivors names are shared because they are talking about their stories in public places to encourage other to get help.
Was molested by a relative at age of 9,her parents handled the situation by beating the culprit up. For her she never got to counselling, now 40years she is vocal about it and her being a public figure, she share that she is now going for counselling and she is very cautious towards parenting her kids.
Has shared how she was molested at around 8years and the incident was continuous since she was sleeping in the same house with the culprit and on sharing it with her mother ,the mum brushed it off and the molestation continued for several times, she only felt safe at her grandfather’s house. She shares that she never had a relationship with her mum, something which as a mum she has made it her core goal to have a relationship with her kids and also very cautious on who hangs around her kids.
Tabitha Wothaya, now a mum of two share how she has been molested continuously from a young age by her step dad and uncle at continuous intervals, and her mum never took action. She is now living with health complications, she can not hold urine ,since she was never taken to hospital or counselled. She also does not have a relationship with her mum but she wished to have one .She also chose to be a lesbian because her past experience made her hate men and sex in general. Tabitha narrates how the stepdad and uncle took advantage of her by telling her that she doe not belong to their land and that if she tells anyone ,they wont educate her. She now writes a book and is seeking to publish it ,to her this is a way of talking to victims and parents to victims out there.
Seeing how adverse the effects of sexual assault can be to a child ,let us be vigilant and be open for change, report and seek both medical and mental help. Get healed by wounded Healers will walk with you through the process at no cost.
In as much as majority believe a Child’s memory fades with time, that is not the case when it comes to sexual violence. Many grow up with the memory of the assault wishing the situation was handled differently. Others blame themselves for being targets of the pedophiles.
According to the survey conducted by the Kenyan government, the researchers spoke to more than 2000 children and young adults from all 47 counties in Kenya between December 2018 and January 2019. The survey named The 2019 Violence Against Children Survey (VACS) .The key findings revealed:
- Half of young women (52 percent) and young men (51.5 percent) between the ages of 18 and 24 witnessed violence at home as a child.
- Almost half of girls (48.2 percent) and more than two out of five boys (41.7 percent) aged 13 to 17 had experienced violent discipline like corporal punishment in the 12 months prior to the survey.
- It is not common for children to report violence or seek assistance. Only 12.5 percent of young women who had experienced sexual violence as a child sought help and only three percent of young men.
- Of the women who did not seek help, more than half (53.6 percent) said it was because they did not think the abuse was a problem.
- Many children think violence is to be tolerated. More than half of girls (50.5 percent) and almost half of boys (47.3 percent) aged between 13 and 17 indicated it was acceptable for a husband to beat his wife.
- Physical violence was the most common type of violence experienced as a child, reported by 38.8 percent of young women and 51.9 percent of young men aged 18-24.
- Nearly one in six young women (15.6 percent) aged 18 to 24 experienced sexual violence as a child, compared to 6.4 percent of young men, with intimate partners the most common perpetrators.
- Around a third of boys (32.2 percent) and girls (34.3 percent) aged 13 to 17 experienced emotional violence – such as being told that their parent wished they had never been born – in the 12 months before the survey was conducted.
The statistics are worrisome showcasing a high number of assault cases happens in homes and schools, places where the kids are confined and that the abuser is well known to the family and the society hence the case may not be handled at the favor of the child rather the favor of the adults to protect their image.
April is sexual assault awareness month, the Wounded Healers International seeks to create awareness to anyone who has a child that is assaulted or anyone who was assualted as a child now an adult and never got help, to contact us and get free counselling we shall work with you to ensure you get the healing you deserve at no cost.
Applaud to the Kenyan celebrities who are coming out to speak about their assault experiences when they were younger, and how till date they have leant to take caution as they raise their kids and are openly sharing tall free numbers and government offices to get help. Lets emulate their courage and reach out to us for help.